I figured I should really start to write something down to remind myself in the future before it gets too late. I honestly have no idea where to start because there is so much in my mind right now that I really want to spill them out from my chest.
I cannot believe it is 62 days away from my leaving. I think in most people's eyes I looked like I'm completely ready for this, in fact I'm not, and I'm not happy at all, and who knows? and who can I really go to and tell them the truth? Lately, I find that I'm constantly having difficulty in opening up myself, I just hate to talk about my own feelings which I wasn't used to be like that. It's like I'm trying not to even touch that particular vulnerable part in myself. Besides, I just think people won't really care how I felt!
I was going over my facebook inbox just now and I realized I have been keeping messages from couple close friends of mine from a year ago. Some of the messages from a friend made me teared up while I was reading the third message that she sent me. I had to stop reading them because the more I read it the more it hurt. However, I really really missed those days that we talked about anything every night.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
62 days left
I figured I should really start to write something down to remind myself in the future before it gets too late. I honestly have no idea where to start because there is so much in my mind right now that I really want to spill them out from my chest.
I cannot believe it is 62 days away from my leaving. I think in most people's eyes I looked like I'm completely ready for this, in fact I'm not, and I'm not happy at all, and who knows? and who can I really go to and tell them the truth? Lately, I find that I'm constantly having difficulty in opening up myself, I just hate to talk about my own feelings which I wasn't used to be like that. It's like I'm trying not to even touch that particular vulnerable part in myself. Besides, I just think people won't really care how I felt!
I was going over my facebook inbox just now and I realized I have been keeping messages from couple close friends of mine from a year ago. Some of the messages from a friend made me teared up while I was reading the third message that she sent me. I had to stop reading them because the more I read it the more it hurt. However, I really really missed those days that we talked about anything every night.
I cannot believe it is 62 days away from my leaving. I think in most people's eyes I looked like I'm completely ready for this, in fact I'm not, and I'm not happy at all, and who knows? and who can I really go to and tell them the truth? Lately, I find that I'm constantly having difficulty in opening up myself, I just hate to talk about my own feelings which I wasn't used to be like that. It's like I'm trying not to even touch that particular vulnerable part in myself. Besides, I just think people won't really care how I felt!
I was going over my facebook inbox just now and I realized I have been keeping messages from couple close friends of mine from a year ago. Some of the messages from a friend made me teared up while I was reading the third message that she sent me. I had to stop reading them because the more I read it the more it hurt. However, I really really missed those days that we talked about anything every night.
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